When this campaign began in earnest, I was so excited. I felt amazed, and stunned, that America might elect not a black man, but a smart man - a man who was capable of nuanced thought, and inspirational speeches, who saw the world in shades of gray, who was capable of disagreeing with his opponents without vilifying them... I had a feeling of such tremendous pride, and it was unknown to me as an American. (Yes, Michelle, me and you both.)
I looked at the other Democrats in the race, and I was proud to be kind of a member of the party. I liked Richardson, and Biden is smart, and Dodd looks, well, boring but capable, and Hillary was tough but smart, and Edwards was his usual slippery passionate but totally brilliant self -- and I thought, what a great field! (Sorry, Dennis.)
Then the voting started - and in Iowa, when Obama stunned everyone, I had a feeling of such elation -- could it be possible that we were actually going to do it? Is this what it feels like, I wondered, to be living through something genuinely momentous in American politics?
But now... now....
Now I see this woman's face on a video -- spewing, fighting, desperate, selfish, lying (or sorry, misspeaking), disingenous to the core if such a thing is possible...
And I don't feel optimistic about this country any more. I don't feel hopeful.
The odds of an Obama Presidency are probably no worse today than they were back in Iowa, but I'm having a hard time rooting for him anymore.
All I'm doing now, and I am not proud of it, is rooting against her.
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Why are you allowing her to have that much power over you? It's not as if she's winning or going to win. She's playing hardball, a neurotic version of it, but hardball nonetheless, and it's not going to tear the party in two; it's only going to toughen Barack's hide. Any Clinton supporter who says he or she will vote for McCain over Obama will come running back after a.) the first debate b.) the Republican Convention c.) McCain's stroke.
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